You can't run from 7 Deadly Sins

Sin 1: Gluttony
So in the interest of overall health and physical fitness- not to mention the appeal of a community wide show of solidarity- I decided to enter in the Alpharetta Mayor's Challenge 10K. The self-titled 'nearly novice' runner/jogger/speed walker that I am was also (admittedly) interested in this years' sponsor: The Pancake House. What better guilt-free opportunity to carbo-gorge post race than this? Refined sugar+ processed flour + butter AND syrup = heaven. I'm in, where's my t-shirt?

645 a.m. Race Day:

Sin 2: Lust
It's about 50 degrees, which for my quickly acclimated southern system is likened to the sensation of being air dropped on the North Pole in a cheap thong. Painfully cold. So cold, my poor leg hairs were growing back with the speed of a time-lapsed camera a la the Discovery Channel. By 652 a.m. I was the missing link in a sassy Target-brand running skirt. Yeti-chic I say! Is it possible to covet a long-sleeved neoprene body contoured hoodie? Indeed it is.

Sin 3 Pride:
Not helping matters was the forced addition of the race day t-shirt. Imagine the color of the center of sun and you are getting close. A neon-limeade shade of migraine inducing proportions en mass to 'Light Up' dear old Alpharetta. (sigh) My only guess is that this unavoidable color was picked to help the group of octogenarian volunteers help monitor the race route. This thought was indeed confirmed at mile 4 when I was directed to 'Head left' and then 'Welcome(d) to Walmart' :) God Bless the old ones.

Sin 4 Wrath:
Sadly, just around the bend I realized I had been lapped (not once, but twice) by a saint pushing his disabled 4th grader in a racing wheelchair. The 'Are you SERIOUS?' prayer followed as the holy spirit slapped me in my face. Sheesh! Hard pill humility, o.k. o.k. Lord, I get it. My redemptive mood was quickly squelched however, rounding mile 6 and hearing "... just when you think it's over, you get a few more STRAGGLERS.' What??? Now my sinful nature wanted to kick him in his fat man balls and yell something about obesity and life expectancy- yet grace overcame me (and I suppose the need to just breathe) and thankfully I merely smiled, sort-of.

Sin 5 Sloth:
Speaking of breathing- need I remind you that late spring early summer here in Ga is like living in a spore. With pollen counts in the thousands it's like trying to suck the cast of Ferngully through a Starbucks coffee stir straw. I felt like I was 'running' underwater, not like Baywatch... more like sea cow- manatee anyone?

Sin 6 Envy:
As if huffing up hill through the forest of Wills Park wasn't enough, the final lap was behind the horse stalls then the gravel spiked parking lot. What a treat for the senses! Thoroughbred poo sprinkled with Hummer Sport suv exhaust fumes- the scent of the 'high life' indeed.

Sin 7 Greed:
V.I.C.T.O.R.Y I finished and it's not even 830 a.m. I headed directly to the pancake table then plotted how to hoard-home as much free stuff as possible. (Heck, you know you've ALL done it.) 4 enormous navel oranges, 2 banana's, 5 different 365 organic breakfast bars, and 2 bottled waters accompanied my jaunt back to the jeep. You would 'think' I would have been embarrassed, but not until this moment- typing it ALL out- do I see my race to destruction. ;) Indeed.

Oh the depravity of man- oh the depravity of ME. I am glad I can laugh about it and I am saved because HE loves me despite of it. Principle: God doesn't love us because we are loveable- God loves us because HE is LOVE.

I know I will always laugh.
I hope to always run.
I pray God will enjoy the ride.

~zee Hausfrau