Alpharetta Easter

You know you're celebrating Easter in Alpharetta, GA when:

1. The preK Easter Chapel service is really a parade of Salzburg clothier dressed boys & the most 'adorable' little girls in 25$ hair bows, 95$ sandals, 185$ frocks, and monogrammed sweaters. Sad to be out classed by kids that were still pooping in their pants 6 months ago.

2. The Moms Morning Out kids (age 6 mo to 2 1/2 yrs) have nothing less than Dove chocolate bunnies and Lindt chocolate eggs as their take home goody bags.. What?? No tooth shattering generic jelly beans from the dollar store? Sheesh!

3. All the mommies have their Tuscany-tans to highlight their sunday dresses. Doesn't everyone have spring break in Italy?

4. You wouldn't be caught dead with (the horror) plastic shredded Easter grass for your kids baskets. Even the Wal-Mart only carries the fancy paper shredded kind. Demographics indeed.

5. The praise & worship band planned for Sunday is a nationally recognized Dove award winner. Of coarse they are!

6. The Easter mission project donation box has higher-end clothing than you are wearing ON YOUR OWN BACK when you make your drop off. Humbling or humiliating? I'll take #2.

7. Kids bring their 'own' ponies for the pony rides at the Easer fun day IN PRESCHOOL. Again, are you kidding me? We can hardly afford gas to fill our car... don't get me started on hay!

8. Sadly, the pictures of Jesus in the children's Palm Sunday programs appear visibly Botoxed. Begs the question 'What would Jesus Botox?' and does being a 'Mary in a Martha World' justify a boob job AND a tummy tuck or just Juvaderm and laser hair removal?

9. Prayer requests in your small group consist of "May God provide a buyer for our 1.2 million dollar house". Seriously?

10. Finally, the carats in Emma's classmates ears would make the easter Bunny jealous.